An Upwardly-Mobile Chimp
Today roving reporter Zoey and her faithful photographer Zeek pay a visit to the ever-popular chimpanzee. In order to get a good interview, though, first they have to convince the Pan Troglodytes to remain in his enclosure!
Zeek and Zoey wander into a jungle-like enclosure, with tall trees and dense foliage on all sides. Zeek holds his camera at the ready, eager to get a good picture.
Zeek: I’ve been looking forward to today’s interview. These photos are going to be a snap. Chimpanzees are so cute, it’s actually impossible to take a bad picture of them! It’s a scientific fact!
Zoey: Whatever you say, Zeek. I agree, though; it’s nice to interview a fellow mammal for a change. Now where is he?
The two spy a platter of fruit on a tree stump in the middle of the enclosure.
Zoey: Well, that must be lunch, and if our interviewee is anything like you, Zoey, he won’t be one to pass up a meal...let’s meet him there.
The two head over to the fruit plate, but the chimpanzee is nowhere to be seen.
Zeek: (Looking through the viewfinder of his camera) Come on out, Mr. Monkey Man, and let me get a good look at you....
A large, furry hand descends from the tree above and snatches Zeek’s camera.
Zeek: Hey! I’m using that!
Nim the Chimp: A camera! And a pretty good one, too. How wonderful, I just love photography.
Zoey: Hello there, you must be the chimpanzee we’re here to interview.
Zeek: And photograph…give that back!
Nim: Well, welcome to my home. I’m Nim, it’s good to meet you.
Zoey: Likewise.
(Nim looks through the camera, taking pictures of the trees and the zoo outside the enclosure.)
Zeek: Hey! Film isn’t cheap! You’re going to reimburse me for every frame you shoot, buddy!
Nim: These will make nice additions to my photo album. I have pictures of every zoo I’ve been in, and all my relatives. No doubt you’ve heard of them, they’re famous.
Zoey: You have famous relatives?
Nim: Oh, sure.
(He takes a photo album out of a nook in a tree and hands it to Zoey.)
Nim: There is a picture of my family back home posing with Jane Goodall. I have a few pictures of my brother when he toured the zoos in Europe. I even have a signed photograph of Enos!
Zeek: Who’s Enos?
Nim: He was part of the early space program…NASA launched him into space in 1961!
Zeek: Wow, the monkey on the moon.
Nim: That’s chimpanzee, thank you, and he didn’t go to the moon. He orbited the earth. This is a nice little camera. Lovely lens…a little small, though.
Zoey: I didn’t know chimpanzees can use cameras.
Nim: Actually we’re pretty good at using all kinds of tools. We don’t have cameras in the wild, of course, but my brothers and I had a special knack for making tools out of tree branches. This one time, I made the longest spear of all. It was great for hunting.
Zeek: (Suddenly nervous) Hunting?
Nim: Oh yeah, we’d go on long hunting trips into the jungle…of course, long spears can also come in handy when you’re trying to pick fruit.
(He grabs a few grapes from the tray and pops them in his mouth.)
Nim: This modern stuff is wonderful, though. Since I moved to the zoo I’ve become something of a gadget freak. (He snaps a photo of Zeek.) You think I’d make a good photographer?
Zeek: (Dazed) Sure, why not? Chimpanzee paparazzi! It’s no crazier than anything else I’ve seen in this zoo.
Nim: OK, fun’s over. Here’s your camera. I changed the focus a bit…it should be clearer now.
(He hands the camera back to Zeek and starts to groom his fur.)
Zeek: Hey...wow, it is! You are good with tools.
Nim: You bet. We chimpanzees are quite good at problem solving, finding better ways to do things. Why, I see a great deal of things that could be done better here around the zoo.
Zoey: Like what?
Nim: Well, for starters, look at the layout. There are some great exhibits, but the guests have to go too far out of the way to buy food. They can’t just forage for fruit like I can. And the clean-up? Ughh! That is some nasty stuff. This place needs a new handyman. Or…
Zoey: Wait, are you thinking what I think you’re thinking?
Nim: Yes! This zoo needs a handy-chimp! Look, I…um…I “borrowed” a broom from the workers, and I’ve been practicing in my enclosure. Isn’t this the cleanest place in the zoo?
Zeek: This enclosure? It’s not that neat.
Zoey: (To Zeek) I’ve seen your room, you aren’t one to talk.
(Nim whistles and sweeps up the area around the mice, playing the part of the cheerful handy-chimp.)
Zoey: It does look very tidy in here.
Nim: Why, thank you! Will you put in a good word with the zookeeper for me?
Zoey: Sure. We’d be happy to.
Zeek: Weird. We come to interview a chimpanzee who turns out to be a better photographer than I am, but all he wants is to be a handy-chimp. We should go talk to the elephant next; maybe he’d really like to be a taxi driver. Or a ballerina.
Zoey: Whatever you say, Zeek.
Zeek: But how are we ever going to find an elephant-sized tutu?!