The perils of Sir Fenris the fennec fox

Zoey, our roving rodent reporter, and Zeek, our prized photographer, come face to muzzle with a genuine knight. Will the Fennecus Zerda best Zeek in a duel, or will they leave the best of friends?

Zeek: Why are we out here at night, again?

Zoey: Because we are looking for our next endangered species, a nocturnal animal called the fennec fox.

Zeek: A fox! Nice! Foxes are cool. Nice and furry.

Zoey: I wonder where it could be?

Zeek: You’d think we’d see something that colorful pretty quickly. Hey! What are these?

Zoey: What?

Zeek: Bird eggs, it looks like. (He picks them up.)

Sir Fenris: (Jumping out of a bush)  Aha! Knave! Thou hast been caught red-handed stealing my food! (Zeek falls over.)

Zeek: What? Hey!

Zoey: It’s the fennec fox!

Sir Fenris: Stand down!
(Sir Fenris points his claws at Zeek.)

Zeek: Hey! Watch where you point those things!

Zeek: THIS is a fox?!? It’s so small.

Sir Fenris: I am insulted! I may be small, but despite my diminutive stature, I could best you in a duel any day, anytime, anywhere!

Zeek: (To himself) Why isn’t anyone ever glad to see us anymore?

Zoey: Please! Please! Calm down! He didn’t mean anything.

Zeek: Sure, sure, pal. No hard feelings. I just meant that most foxes are larger.

Sir Fenris: It is true: I am not only the smallest fox you’ll ever see, but also the smallest member of the Canidae family.

Zeek: So you’re related to dogs?

Sir Fenris: Pah! Common dogs! Don’t mention those curs. While unfortunately this is true, they are not fit to fluff my tail.

Zoey: That sure is an impressively fluffy tail. May I feel it?

Sir Fenris: I could not deny the request of a lady.

Zoey: Why, thank you.

Sir Fenris: Feel it. A softer one you will never find.

Zoey: Wow, I could sleep on this.

Sir Fenris: Yes, I sometimes curl up and take a nap on it.

Zoey: I don’t blame you.

Sir Fenris: That sun gets so hot, I often just curl up in the sand and sleep all day.

Zoey: Oh, so that’s why you prefer the night.

Sir Fenris: Quite!

Zoey: Just like bats.

Sir Fenris: Ah, how very observant of you, my lady. You are no doubt referring to my keen ears!

Zoey: Yes, they are very distinctive.

Sir Fenris: I heard you coming long before you got here.

Zeek: So why do you only come out at night?

Sir Fenris: It is my nature. I prowl around when it’s dark out, and during the day I rest in the sand to escape the heat.

Zoey: But doesn’t the sand burn you?

Sir Fenris: Oh, no. I have very thick fur on my paws, see? (He shows Zoey the underside of his paw.) It protects my skin from the heat.  But where are my manners? Here I am in the presence of a radiant lady, and I have blathered on in her presence without introducing myself!

Zoey: Radiant? (Zoey beams)

Sir Fenris: My name is Sir Fenris Fox, also known as a fennec fox of the desert. Some call me “The Desert Fox”; I am at your service.

Zoey: Ooo! I like that name. Nice and mysterious.

Sir Fenris: My enemies do not see me coming. Like a flash I am upon them and just as quickly I disappear.
Zoey: Ah, yes! Because of your rich, sandy-colored coat!

Sir Fenris: Quite, milady. You are fair of mind as well as face.
(He bows and kisses her hand.)

Zoey: (Grinning and blushing) Such nice manners. It is wonderful to meet a…knight of your caliber.

Zeek: Can I get up now?

Sir Fenris: Only if you apologize for your insolence regarding my diminutive stature.

Zeek: Sure, sure. I apologize. But what’s wrong with being small? I’m small and I like it. I’m even smaller than you.

Sir Fenris: (Thinking) Well I suppose that is—

Zeek: And look at you, a great knight with all the cunning you need. I’m sure everybody likes you.

Sir Fenris: Why, of course.  I am so well-respected that they gave me my own genus. They used to refer to me solely as the Vulpus zerra.

Zoey: Yes. Vulpus, the Latin word for fox.

Zeek: But that’s different?

Sir Fenris: Quite. Some now call me by my given name, Fennecis zerda, which is the Arabian word for fox.

Zoey: It’s quite an achievement to have people naming an entire genus after you.

Zeek: There you go! An entire genus named after you when you’re the smallest Canid there is.

Sir Fenris: You are most correct, sir, and I have acted appallingly. Here.
(Sir Fenris helps Zeke up.)

Sir Fenris: I beg your forgiveness for my rude behavior. Thou art as wise as any learned scholar. (He bows to Zeek.)

Zeek: Forget about it. It’s great to hear someone that speaks so nicely.  (Zeek awkwardly bows.)

Sir Fenris: You are quite mannerly yourself, good Sir Zeek.

Zeek: Well, you are indeed a well-respected fox that has earned our respect.

Sir Fenris: And you, good sir, are as valiant as I. Perhaps one day, we may try our hands in battle!

Zeek: I could go for that! Just call and I’ll come running. Hey! How about now? We could duel. It would be fun.

Sir Fenris: An excellent idea! Come, Sir Zeek, let us make a day of sport. Cheerio, milady! I must bid you adieu! (He bows and kisses her hand again.)

Zeek: I know a great spot right over behind those trees. A dragon almost ate us there.

Sir Fenris: A dragon?! We shall best it in battle if it should dare to rear its ferocious head!

Zeek: Yeah, it’s right over there.
(Zoey blushes, still flustered.)

Zoey: What a gentleman. Farewell, good sir knight!