A Gaggle of Gentle Masai Giraffes

Resourceful rodent reporter Zoey and her faithful photographer Zeek climb a tree in search of the Masai giraffe—the tallest land animal on Earth. But will they be able to convince this Camelopardalis tippelskirchi that they’re not birds, and how will they react to the long, sticky surprise that it’s hiding inside its mouth?

Zeek: No further, Zoey. (Pant) This is it. (Pant) I’m done.

Zoey: Come on, Zeek, just a little further.

Zeek: I’m a mouse, Zoey, not a Sherpa. I’m not built to be this far off the ground.

Zoey: The giraffe, when full grown, can be more than 17 feet tall. We can’t interview a giraffe from the ground; it wouldn’t even be able to hear our voices. That’s why we’re climbing this tree.

Zeek: I know—you told me all that 12 feet ago! It sounded a lot less crazy when we were safe on the ground. I’m going back.

Zoey: Just a little further, OK? Two or three more feet will do it.

Ginny the Giraffe: Oh look, Jeannie, there are two furry little birds on this branch! Have you ever seen anything so cute?

Jeannie the Giraffe: Simply adorable! But where are their wings?

(Zeek and Zoey crane over their shoulders to see two enormous pairs of soft, brown eyes staring at them through the leaves of the acacia tree they’ve been climbing.)

Zoey: Oh! Hello! Nice to meet you. (She braces herself against the trunk of the tree and takes out her notepad.) We’re not birds, though. We’re mice.

(Ginny and Jeannie bat their eyes placidly and stare silently at the two mice.)

Zoey: See? No wings. (She lifts her arms to illustrate the point. Zeek, trying to help, flaps his arms and leaps up and down, as if to illustrate that he can’t fly. He stops abruptly when he realizes that he’s jumping up and down on a narrow branch 12 feet off the ground.)

Ginny: You two are just the cutest things! But if you can’t fly, what are you doing up in a tree?

Jeannie: Why, you could fall! You should get down right this moment!

Zeek: My point exactly. Zoey, shall we? (He starts inching his way towards the trunk.)

Zoey: Not yet, Zeek. We’re already here, we may as well talk to them. (To the giraffes) We’re up in this tree because we wanted to interview you. I’m a reporter, you see, and Zeek here is my photographer. We’d like to hear what it’s like to be a giraffe in this zoo.

Ginny: What it’s like? Oh, I don’t know. You should ask my friend, Jenny. She’s much more articulate than I am. Jenny! Jenny honey, come over here for a second. There are some furry birds who want to talk to you.

Zoey: Mice. Not birds. Mice.

Jenny: (Ambling up and fixing the two mice with her placid gaze) Why, aren’t you cute!

Zeek: So we hear.

Zoey: Glad to meet you, Jenny. We were hoping we could talk to you about your experiences as a giraffe in this zoo.

Jenny: A Masai giraffe, you mean.

Zoey: Oh, right. Sorry. Is that an important distinction? I always thought there was just one type of giraffe.

Jenny: And I always thought that birds had feathers, not fur, but now here you two are! I guess we’re both learning something new today.

Zoey: Mice.

Jenny: Excuse me?

Zoey: We’re not birds. We’re mice.

Jenny: How nice for you! Anyway, there are several varieties of giraffe. You can tell Masai giraffes, like my friends and me, by the patterns of brown patches on our hides. Notice how they look a little like oak leaves? That’s a pattern distinctive to Masai giraffes.

Zeek: (Snapping photos) Gotcha. So you all have the same patches?

Jenny: Heavens, no. What fun would that be? No, every giraffe’s pattern is unique. But our patterns are similar enough to show that we’re related.

Zoey: (Jotting down notes) This is great stuff, Jenny. Thanks.

Ginny: (Giggling) But Jenny, you’re not telling them about your secret talent!

(Jenny rolls her eyes but says nothing.)

Zoey: You have a secret talent, Jenny? Tell us about it!

Jeannie: (Laughs) Yes, Jenny, tell them. What’s the matter, cat got your tongue?

Zeek: What? What is it?

Ginny: He’s got to know, Jenny! Show him your secret talent!

Jenny: All right, if you insist. (Abruptly she unfurls her 18-inch tongue and wraps it around Zeek, who squawks in surprise. When Jenny retracts her tongue, Zeek is left covered in a sticky layer of saliva.)

Jenny: (Laughing) We giraffes have extra-long tongues for pulling the leaves off of trees. And they’re also good for playing practical jokes on birds. (The three giraffes erupt into laughter.)

Zoey: We’re not birds, we’re…oh, forget it. Come on Zeek, let’s get you cleaned up.