California Sea Lions on Strike!

The California sea lions are on strike, refusing to perform until their demands are met. Roving rodent reporter Zoey the zoo mouse and photographer Zeek have dropped by the Zalophus californianus exhibit to brave the picket line and talk to Simon and Sam the sea lions to find out more.

Zoey: Hello, guys. Tell us why you are on strike.

Simon: ’Cause the dolphins are getting the VIP treatment, and we’re getting the shaft.

Zoey: How so?

Simon: The dolphins get the primetime shows, the primo pad with lots of perks and tons of space … and look around. See any California sea lion posters? No, man, it’s dolphin city!

Zoey: Why do you think the dolphins are getting preferential treatment?

Simon: Hype, man. They’re all over the movies and TV, everyone talks about how smart they are … the zoo’s just buying into the whole thing.

Sam: Did you know some zoos actually charge people to feed dolphins? I mean, dude, what’s that about?

Zoey: My impression is that people love California sea lions, too …

Simon: Some people, maybe. But lately it seems like we’re always getting dissed by the media. I don’t care how the saying goes, not all publicity is good publicity. And why doesn’t the press talk about our good qualities anymore?

Zoey: Such as?

Simon: We’re smart ... we’re social … we know how to party ...

Sam: We’re waaay more fun than those stuck-up dolphins, that’s for sure.

Zoey: Why are you getting negative press then?

Simon: We spend time where there’s food and a good place to hang out in the sun. And in the wild, what better place than a wharf or marina?

Sam: Yeah, dude. Humans just can’t make up their minds. First they’re promoting us as a tourist attraction, and the next thing you know they’re complaining about how we’re eating all the fish, we’re noisy, we’re messy, blah, blah, blah … what do they expect?

Zoey: Do you think you’re perceived as being dangerous?

Simon: I don’t know … I mean, yeah, we can get a little rowdy, but we like to have a good time, man, that’s all.

Sam: Once in a while a sea lion sinks a sailboat or knocks a surfer off her surfboard, but it’s not on porpoise … Hah, get it?

Zoey: Yeah, I get it. That’s very funny.

Simon: The only time we might pose a real threat is around our rookeries, but we set those up away from humans …

Zoey: Rookeries?

Simon: Breeding territories. Bulls mate with several females, so we set up a breeding ground. We patrol our area to keep intruders—including other males—away from our “harems.”

Zoey: Do either of you have a harem here?

Simon: No, we share this bachelor pad with two other dudes.

Sam: Oooh, a harem—that would rock!

Simon: We should add that to our list of demands!

Zoey: Speaking of which, what are your demands exactly?

Sam: Well, we get plenty of fish and meat to eat, but we like to have fun with our food. We could do with more live tuna and cod and more of that ice with the beef inside ...

Simon: I would love just a little more space and maybe a new spot to lie in the sun, like another sleeping platform. For those cloudy days, a heated rock would be awesome, too ... and would it kill them to give us one primetime show, with a little publicity behind it?

Zoey: Well, hopefully this piece will further your cause.

Zeek: Let’s take a picture. Think you can look sweet for this one, guys?

Simon: Whatever it takes, man!