Of Wit and Wisecracks: A window into the World of the Wildebeest

This week, roving rodent reporter Zoey the zoo mouse talks with Wilma the blue wildebeest, who proves with her words that Connochaetes taurinus is far from boring.

Zoey: So, the other animals were talking about the entertaining noises coming from over here—snorting, moaning, bellowing…

Wilma: Oh, I wouldn’t classify the noises as entertaining in the least. In fact, I find the sounds pleasingly mundane.

Zoey: Okay…

Wilma: But yes, we wildebeests do tend to express ourselves through sound. There are only 12 of us, but we still manage to produce quite a fanfare. It’s like a symphony…only without any musicality whatsoever.

Zoey: So is 12 a small number for a herd?

Wilma: Well, in the wild, herds can be anywhere from 30 to 500. So, yeah, I suppose 12 is a little on the skinny side.

Zoey: Ah. I see…

Wilma: Look, you can drop the façade. I know that nobody was talking about us. Your editor— who must not like you very much, by the way—assigned you to write a piece on the wildebeest, and you had to come up with an angle. I’ll bet you’ve been dreading the assignment all week because you have no idea how to make us sound interesting. I mean, really, the noises we make?

Zoey: So…am I to understand that you think you have a reputation for being boring?

Wilma: Oh, like you didn’t know? I mean, you’ve seen the wildlife specials—who’s always in the lion’s jaws, or being pursued by a cheetah? The wildebeest! And that’s pretty much all you see of us. I think the general consensus is that we’re little more than predator chow. But I don’t think we’re so different from meerkats, zebras, or gerenuks. Except for the fact that we are lacking in beauty and charm, of course…

Zoey: Hey, Zeek! Can you get a shot of Wilma not being eaten by a predator?

Zeek: Sure thing, Zoey!

Zoey: So, I think I’ve come up with some compelling discussion points about you …

Wilma: Well, for goodness’ sake, don’t let anyone know!

Continue to part 2...